Such Horrible Things
by Zink1388
Summary: The story of Johnny's childhood, and all the horrible things he did from age 2 - 18. T for Violence. R
1. Age 2

**I own nothing  
The song used is Creature Feature: Such Horrible Things  
All Characters are owned by Jhonen Vasquez**

_When I Was Two  
I Poured Super Glue Into My Fathers Hair  
As He Sat Unaware In His Arm Chair  
Much To His Dismay  
Had To Cut It All Away  
Oh, But It Felt Great_

As the morning news babbled on about stolen kittens and the possible thunder storms, a 2-year-old boy with black hair and a deviant look in his eyes, snuck up behind his father who sat watching the boring program in his chair, unaware of his oncoming fate. In the boy's hand, was a bottle of super glue, which he had stolen from the store down the street. His parents never did pay much attention to him, so he was able to do that without being caught, just as he was able to do this. The boy, known as Johnny, silently opened the bottle and poured it all over his father's hair. He then ran away quickly to his room and hid the empty bottle under his bed. Johnny sat on his bed awaiting his father's reaction. Then, suddenly…

"JOHNNY!"

Said boy burst out laughing and buried his face in his pillow so his father wouldn't hear.  
After a while, Johnny came out of his room and looked across the hall to see his mother cutting his father's hair off. He almost laughed himself to tears at the sight. His father turned around, startling his mother, and yelled some very unpleasant things at his son. That only made the soon-to-be homicidal maniac laugh even harder.

**Yes it's short, but I promise, if you review, you'll get a **_**very**_** deviant new chapter in return. Go look up "Such Horrible Things" by creature feature if you don't believe me. After all, that's what the story's based on. **


	2. Age 4

_When I Was Four  
I'd Wait by the Door  
With A Knife in My Hand  
And A Most Devious Plan  
It Would Be Quite Grand  
As the Mail Fell Through the Slot  
The Sharp Edge He Got  
Oh, But I Love The Thought_

Four-year-old Johnny looked up at the knives his mother used for cooking that hung proudly on a knife rack. Unfortunately, he was too small to reach them. He looked around for something to stand on, and he found a chair. He climbed on the kitchen chair, and was then able to reach the knives. He studied them each carefully, he wanted to pick the best one for only the best would work with his plan. He grabbed the sharpest knife then hopped down off the chair. All the knives fell off the rack after that, but he didn't seem bothered. Johnny ran over to the door by the mail slot and waited for the sound of the mail man's truck. Once he heard it, he held the knife under the mail slot and as the mailman opened the slot to put the mail in he got his fingers caught on the very edge of the knife. The man dropped the mail through the slot and pulled his hand out. As he did this, some of his blood dripped onto the mail. He swore, then ran back to his truck and sped away from the house. Johnny laughed, and then his mother came over to where he stood and scolded him knocking down her cooking knives, and saying these were not toys, and he should wait until his father hears about this. Johnny giggled thinking about his bald father. His mother never even noticed the blood on the mail. She simply picked it up off the floor and saw it was a bunch of bills before throwing it away. Johnny smiled; she also neglected to notice he still had his favorite knife hidden behind his back.

**I'm working on new chapters, really, I am! But School exams aren't very inspirational, and I've had no time to work on this because of that. I know, I know, excuses, excuses, but I will try to get the next three chapters up by next week. R&R**


	3. Age 6

**Wow, and to think I was considering canceling the story due to lack of reviews. Keep this up and I'll keep updating! Thanks to everyone that reviewed favorite etc.! And here are my replies….  
**

**Nanayoung****: Thank you, you are awesome! And Creature Feature is one of my favorite bands!**

**Nel Daag Nouy****: I didn't mention the When I was born part because I couldn't think of anything evil for a newborn baby to do. And about the sequel thing, I'll have to see how this turns out. If a bunch of people still want a sequel by the end of this story, then sure.**

**Themightykiller****: I knew what you meant, glad you liked the chapter! **

**Critic****: Sorry, I'm usually better at spelling than that. I guess I was just tired, either that or autocorrect got me. Lol, But I'm glad you liked it!**

**JTHM****: The brother and sister were forgotten by the stupid author. I'll add them in the story in a little bit. Thank you for reminding me, otherwise I would have gotten to that part and been like "Crap, well now Johnny has two adopted siblings from nowhere. Perfect." **

**Angelofdeath****: Thank you! :D And I wasn't taking it the wrong way. …Until you mentioned it ;) lol**

**Lay Ne Gouda****: Check out some of Creature Feature's other music too; they have tons of awesome songs that fit JTHM. :) It would have to depend on how many people still like this story by the time I'm finished with it. If a bunch of people want a sequel, then I'd see no reason not to make one. **

**Dude13****: Thanks! **

**Cooldude****: I guess I wasn't thinking about it, oh well. Also I've got no clue how to spell that either. Anyway thanks for the review! :) **

**Now, here's Chapter 3!**

_When I Was Six  
I Used To Trick  
The Next Door Neighbors Son  
In The Woods We Would Run  
Time For Fun  
Hide N Seek Has A Cost  
He Would Be Forever Lost  
Oh, But I Love To Scoff_

Johnny was right behind Zak, the next door neighbor's son. They were playing tag, and Johnny was it. He chased Zak into the woods behind his house and they ran quite a bit before Zak tripped and Johnny tagged him. "You're it." Johnny said, out of breath. He leaned back on a nearby tree for support. Zak sat up beside him. He glared at Johnny. "That wasn't fair!" He said. "I tripped and you tagged me before I could get up!" Johnny shrugged, "I still tagged you, and you're still it." Zak glared at the ground. They stayed there in silence before Zak kicked a rock and said, "I'm bored, let's play something else." Zak noticed a funny smile on Johnny's face before he replied, "How about Hide-and-go-seek?" Zak nodded slowly, still not sure what Johnny was smiling about. "I'll count, and you go hide. Then I'll come and find you." Johnny said. "I know that, stupid! I've played this game before!" Zak snapped. Johnny replied calmly "Alright then go." Johnny closed his eyes and faced the tree as he counted to 15 slowly. He could hear Zak laughing as he ran far away.  
Zak jumped over a small creek and kept running, hoping to hide somewhere Johnny would never find him. Finally, he came across a big oak tree with a pile of rocks around it. He giggled and climbed up onto the rocks. He then crouched down and waited for Johnny to come look for him.  
Johnny counted to 15, and then looked behind a few trees before shouting "I give up! I'm going home now." He got no reply, but he didn't care. He really didn't like Zak all that much anyway. Once he reached home, he still saw or heard no sign of Zak. Zak's mother was at his house talking to his mother. When she saw Johnny, she ran over to him and kneeled down to his height. "Have you seen Zak? Is my little boy alright? What were you two doing up in the woods? Did he get hurt?" All these questions were replied with a simple shrug. Johnny's mother kneeled down next to him now. "Johnny, are you sure you haven't seen Zak? Honey, this is important we need to know where he is." Johnny still said nothing. He knew why they were worried, it was around 6 PM when they left, and it was now 8 PM and dark and only one kid shows up. Johnny's mother sighed. "Go take a shower and get ready for bed. I'll be ready to tuck you into bed in a minute." Johnny did as told. She turned to Zak's mom and said, "Don't worry Shannon; I'm sure he'll turn up eventually." Shannon nodded. Little did they know he never would.  
(With Zak)  
Zak was scared, there were no other words in his vocabulary to describe it better. He couldn't see any sign of where is house is, all he was were trees, lots and lots of trees in a woods that seemed to go on forever. Where there weren't trees, there was darkness. He still hadn't outgrown his fear of the dark. So alone he stood in the woods, scared, alone and homesick. He hoped Johnny would find him soon. He called out to him multiple times, but to no avail. It's funny, just the other night he'd had a nightmare  
about being lost in the woods, and his mother comforted him and said no such thing would ever happen to him. _"She lied!" _He thought to himself. _"She lied, just like that stupid Jerk, Johnny!" _ Zak promised himself that when he got out of these woods, he would hurt Johnny just like Johnny had hurt him.

**Again, a huge thanks to everyone that has reviewed! You are all amazing! :D**


	4. Age 8

**OMG CRAP! I didn't mean to imply that Zak never ever came back! And no he wasn't eaten by bears -.- He came home eventually! Seriously, he did! He appears in the next chapter too! Honest! And to the Critic person: I don't mind your critiques, I really don't, I'm just glad you like the story! And you are helpful. :) Anyway, just give me a little bit to fix that, because the song says he used to trick, not he tricked his friend then he never came home. Basically Johnny did this a lot, and Zak always came home the next day. You know moms, even if this happened every day (which it did) she would still freak out as if he would never come home. Sorry about that, it was a long day yesterday. Zak's fine to those of you who worried; I was wondering why so many people wanted to know what happened to Zak. He's actually an important character! I can't kill off an important character! Hey on the plus side all I had to do today was make this authors note, because I already wrote this chapter last night! :D Ok, so you probably don't care, but it's good for me! Also, to Lay Ne Gouda, Yes, we have chocolate Chip Cookies. But they are chocolate chip cookies of doom! *Evil laughter* lol**

**Anyway, here's the story.**

_When I was eight  
I used to hate  
The color of the house  
So as quiet as a mouse  
I burned it down  
To the ground  
When no one was around  
Oh, but I love the sound_

Johnny sighed, and then asked for the billionth time  
"Mommy, why can't we just paint the house a different color?"  
His mother sighed  
"Because honey, it's a lot of work and money to do that."  
Johnny frowned, and his mother looked him in the eye and said  
"I'm going to the grocery store. I'll be back in an hour. You'll be fine; you have Kim to guard you."  
Kim was the family dog, a female police trained germen shepherd. Upon hearing her name, Kim ran into the room wagging her tail. With that being said, Johnny's mother kissed him goodbye and left. Johnny patted Kim on the head and the dog licked his hand in return. He smiled, and then went to go watch T.V. Halfway to the living room; he remembered he was the only one here. His sister was at High school, his brother was at a friend's house and his dad was at work. He smiled a sick smile.  
_"If I can't have what I want,"  
_He thought  
_"No one can."  
_He then ran about the house looking for his dad's cigarette lighter. Kim followed him the entire way. He found it, then dragged Kim outside on a leash so she wouldn't run away. He used the cigarette lighter to set the house on fire. The whole place went up into flames, and he threw the cigarette lighter into the fire. He and Kim ran away from the house. The fire department showed up and asked him what happened. He lied and said he didn't know. His mother came back from the grocery store furious. She wasn't stupid, she knew what caused this. She angrily dialed a number on her cell phone. It happened to be her husband's number.  
"Honey, I can't talk right now I'm at work-"  
"YOUR CIGARETTE LIGHTER CAUGHT THE WHOLE HOUSE ON FIRE!"  
Johnny couldn't hear what his father had said to that, but he was sure it wasn't going to be a simple "sorry". Kim barked, and Johnny smiled.  
_"Good thing dogs can't talk."  
_Johnny thought to himself  
_"Or I'd be in so much trouble right now…"_

**BAD ENDING DX I KNOW! But It's better than nothing, right? R&R**


	5. Age 10

**Two chapters in one night! :D **

_When I was ten  
I used to pretend  
To drown in the sea  
Till they'd come rescue me  
Then proceed to laugh in their face  
Such a disgrace  
Oh, but I love the taste._

Shannon and (A/N: Johnny's mom will now be named Jackie because I can't think of anything else.) Jackie lay on beach towels side by side tanning themselves in the sun while Zak and Johnny played in the water. They were at Daytona Beach in Florida. Zak was trying to surf on his father's surf board, and Johnny was diving underwater and poking at the fish. Zak fell of the surf board into a wave, then after a moment came back up spitting out seawater.

"It tastes like salt! Gross!"

Johnny noticed the lifeguard had stood up and looked in Zak's direction when he had fallen off. Zak coughed

"Man that was gross! Hey Johnny, wanna go build a sandcastle with me?"

Johnny looked over at his friend.

"Nah, you go ahead, I like swimming."

Zak shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

The two went off in separate ways. Zak stopped, and glanced back at Johnny. He had that odd look in his eyes again, the same one he used to have when he'd trick him in the woods when they were six. But Zak pushed the thought aside and started working on his sandcastle. Just then his dad come over and ruffled his blonde hair

"Want some help?" Zak smiled and nodded.

"Where's Johnny?" Zak's father asked.

"He said he wanted to keep swimming, hand me that seashell!"

Zak's dad rolled his eyes playfully and continued building a sandcastle with his son.

Johnny swam out into the deep waters, and practiced holding his breath. He was able to go 45 seconds without breathing. So that's just what he did. He did the dead man's float and held his breath. Though his hearing was muffled due to the water, he was still able to hear his Dad shout something and the lifeguard blow his whistle. He heard the lifeguard swim out towards him; that was when he shut his eyes. The lifeguard picked the 'drowning' child up and swam him back to shore. People were starting to crowd around the two. When Johnny was laid down on the sand he jumped up and pointed at the stunned lifeguard laughing and saying things like

"You fell for it!"

and

"Fooled you!"

Johnny saw his angry and embarrassed father walking towards him, with his older brother and sister following him. Johnny took off running laughing all the way. He beat his father to the car, but it was locked so he had to wait on his mom and dad to show up. It was really hot and the idea of standing there on the hot boardwalk didn't sound too appealing. But he really had no choice. It was still worth it though, in his mind, the look on the lifeguard's face was priceless!

Once his parents came to the car his siblings were giving him odd looks as his parents gave him a long lecture about never doing that again otherwise you're grounded until the end of time all the way home. Zak was still at the beach with his father, but he wished Johnny was there.

"Sometimes,"

Zak thought to himself

"Johnny does really stupid things."

From Zak's point of view, Johnny was being just plain stupid. What was so funny about pretending to drown? All it did was scare people. But Zak settled on staying his friend, after all, when he wasn't being evil, he was a good friend. And good overcomes evil, right?

**Yup, well I don't have much to say aside from thanks to everyone that reviewed! You are all amazing people! Also on a side note, my hamster had babies and they are so cute I just love them! *Squee!* :D But my mom's making me sell them. Oh well, they're still cute. :) R&R**


	6. AUTHORS NOTE

**Sorry to break this to you people, but I won't be updating for a bit. My computer is broken, so I'm using a friends. I don't go to her place often so this may be all you get for awhile. But I am sorry that this was just an authors note and not a chapter. And I made Johnny have a dog because who doesn't love dogs? :D Anyway, I'm really sorry, but be thankful for what you have so far, after all, it **_**is **_**thanksgiving. Happy holidays everyone! **


	7. Age 12

**I got my internet back early! Special thanks to the computer dude who fixed my computer router! Here's the next chapter. **

_When I Was Twelve  
I Used To Delve  
Into Evil Schemes  
Just To Elicit Screams  
Boost My Self Esteem  
Pushed My Sister Down A Well  
She Just Fell  
Oh, But I Love To Dwell_

Johnny stared out the window watching his older siblings play soccer with each other. He wished he wasn't grounded, it's not like he put gum in his sister's hair! …Ok so maybe he did, but he still didn't think it was that big of a deal. Sitting in his room all day was freaking boring. He needed _something_ to do. Johnny sighed and climbed on his bed to bury his face into his pillow. He laid there looking like he had died. Being the overly-dramatic preteen he was, he hoped he would. Just then he had an idea, even if he couldn't try his evil schemes today doesn't mean he couldn't plot them! He sat up and made a mental list of a bunch of ways to terrify his brother and sister.  
The next day, he had carefully selected a scheme to play out on his sister. When she and her brother went out to play soccer, Johnny took her cell phone. Only after soccer practice did she notice this though. So Johnny had to wait to complete his plan. But once she did notice Johnny called out

"Hey Janie!"

Janie looked over to where Johnny was standing by the well in the backyard. He was holding her cellphone over the well acting as if he was going to drop it.

"Come here you little brat!"

Johnny smirked.

"Oops!"

Johnny dropped the cell phone down into the well. Janie screamed and ran up to the well, leaning over the side to see if it was really gone. There was a splash sound of something hitting the water, but Janie still looked down the well. Johnny grinned, and shoved her. Janie lost her balance and fell down the well. There was an even bigger splash and Johnny had to step back so he wouldn't get wet.

"Hey! I found my cell phone!"

Johnny face palmed then walked away.

"Well aren't you going to help me out?"

No answer.

"Hello, Someone?"

Still no answer.

"JOHNNY!"

**Wells have no cell phone service by the way. Just thought I'd let you all know this. Hehe, REVIEW :D**


	8. Age 14

**Hey, I'm back! I see I have a few new followers… Welcome to the Dark side my friends!  
I realize it's been over 7 months since I've updated this… But hey it makes a good hobby for whenever I'm bored, I hope that a few of my story followers and reviewers will read this, I promise this story will come to an end soon and I will start the sequel if anyone still gives it half a mind. And I forgot to mention, this story will involve character death. But, considering it's about Johnny the **_**homicidal maniac**_** that should be pretty self-explanatory. Enough of me yammering on, here's the story.  
**

****

Chapter 8, Age 14 

**-**

_When I Was Fourteen_

_Nothing Much Happened_

_Well_

_There Was That One Time…._

Johnny sat in his room, listening to iPod, and trying to play along to the heavy metal music with his own electric guitar he had gotten for Christmas. But unfortunately, the raven haired boy kept messing up, creating the most unpleasant sound. Finally he was yelled at by his much older brother, Kyle.

"Johnny! Stop playing that thing already, you suck dude!"

Johnny paused his music and glared at his brother's room across the hall. He was about to reply when he decided against it at the last second.

_"Actions speak louder than words."_ He thought to himself.

Johnny looked over the other things he had gotten for Christmas. A new shirt, a book, a guitar, and some candy. Yeah those weren't very inspiring.

"Why is it my loud-mouthed brother always has to ruin everything?" Johnny said aloud to no one in particular. That's when he heard said loud-mouth talking about the upcoming prom to his Girlfriend on the phone.

"Of course I can pick you up babe,"  
"No, I'll be alone, why do you ask?"  
"Nah, don't worry, he'll be staying home tonight with the old man."  
"No, he doesn't have a girlfriend."  
"Because he's gay and stupid."  
"I got to go, see you tomorrow. I love you too, bye."

Kyle apparently noticed Johnny listening in on their conversation. Probably due to the fact Johnny had looked up and shot a glare at his brother when he called him gay and stupid. Kyle glared back before walking over to the door to his room and saying

"Get your own life, and get out of mine"

With that being said he slammed the door shut.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!"

Johnny gulped at the sound of his father yelling.

"Johnny did it!" Kyle called back

Johnny shut and locked his door before going back to what he was doing. Kyle's chat with his girlfriend reminded him that the sophomore prom was this Friday. The perfect opportunity for revenge! He walked over to and sat on his bed, picking up a photo he had lying around of him and Kyle when they were younger. He hated it. Johnny laughed, he was a bit surprised however, and slightly disturbed by the ideas he had for how to ruin Kyle's night.

_"Why would I want to kill him? He's my brother!" _ Johnny asked himself in thought. That was when he remembered all the times Kyle had been a jerk to him.

_Age 6__****_

_The whole family is at a petting zoo, there are ponies, cows, goats, pigs and chickens to play with and pet. Johnny obliviously goes over to a very unhappy looking pony and pats it on the head. Kyle doesn't know much about horses, but he does know they get scared easily. He points at a goat a few feet away behind the horse.  
"Hey Nny, look at that goat!"  
'Nny' was Johnny's nickname from his father, and not long after he had started calling him that, Kyle had caught onto the name as well. Johnny walks over behind the horse where Kyle stands and looks at the goat lying down sleeping. Once his brother's attention is on the goat and not him, Kyle steps aside from the horse and yells  
"Yee Haw!"  
Scaring both the horse, and Johnny. Unfortunately for Johnny, when a horse gets scared, they kick whatever is behind them and in his case _whoever_. The animal swung both hind legs out at him knocking the 6 year old into the pig pen. Luckily the only thing hurt was his ego.  
Kyle's laughter rung in his ears as he tried to ignore the awful stench of pig manure. _

_Age 8_

_Johnny sits watching TV with Janie, eating cereal and thinking.  
Kyle comes by from behind the couch and shoves Johnny's head into the cereal. He then runs away laughing. Johnny sits up and goes to take a shower to get the milk and applejacks out of his hair, muttering impolite things along the way. _

_Its 4 in the morning, Johnny's family is on vacation for the summer. Kyle goes into his brother's room with a squirt gun and sprays Johnny in the face with it. Being a light sleeper, Johnny snaps awake, grabs the squirt gun and hits Kyle with it. Johnny was the one who got in trouble for hitting his brother. Never mind the fact his clothes are soaked and Kyle started it!_

Age 10  
After heading home from the beach incident, Kyle had profoundly knocked the family photo in its frame onto the floor thus breaking it. His parents of course ran into the living room to see what happened. Kyle blamed Johnny, and the poor boy only got into more trouble when he denied it.

Coming out of his train of thought he realized he had crumpled up the photograph. He angrily uncrumpled it and stared at his brothers' cocky smile.

"Someday soon,"  
He said out loud to no one but himself.  
"You will pay."  
With that said he ripped his brother from the picture and let it fall to the floor.

**I think this might be the longest chapter yet! Yaaay! Please review! Also thank god for this we are getting to the point where he becomes the psychopathic maniac we all know and love! **_  
_


End file.
